The best way of dealing with arguments and viewpoints that are contrary to yours, and at the same time maintaining some kind of connection with the other person, is to avoid getting dragged into that polarizing debate. If you get sucked into arguing, you’ll likely accomplish nothing but a ruined relationship. Your better bet is to acknowledge the viable points in your counterpart’s argument, then include their sound points in your own position, and above all, treat them with respect.

I facilitated a series of highly contentious meetings years back that were attended by one particular guy that had my number. For him it was personal and I was the target. Whenever I tried to nudge the conversation back to the topic, he’d ignore it and refocus on me, his sworn enemy. The rest of the room was entertained, waiting for me to lose my cool. I’ve always thought of facilitation in these tough situations much like a martial art: maintaining inner peace in the midst of the turmoil.