Great questions get great answers. Like “Why is anything about Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs breaking news?” Answer: “BECAUSE PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE UNDERFUNDED!” (I apologize for shouting but some answers are too important for lower case letters.) The world of engagement revolves around questions; questions that stakeholders have about initiatives, questions people have about project sponsors, and questions that proponents should be asking people in affected communities. But getting to big questions often takes some time and some finesse, starting with smaller questions intended to lubricate the conversation and start a relationship. For those of us challenged by those small talk encounters, here are some ideas that might help get you beyond groping for vapid questions.

We all know people who judge conversations by whomever gets in the most words wins. Not the best approach for building relationships. Listening and learning something about your conversation counterpart and establishing some level of trust and comfort should be the objective. 

Consider active listening like bouncing on a trampoline. Instead of being passively nonverbal, ask the right questions that encourage the speaker to respond more fully and deeply about whatever it is you’re trying to better understand.

Deep, intentional listening is soulful listening.